joe pantoliano shows up at republican convention

joe pantoliano, best known for his star turns in both the matrix (first and only film that mattered in the trilogy), sopranos, and christopher nolan’s genius of a film, memento, turned up at the republican national convention. as did rosario dawson. isn’t pantoliano the same guy who 4 years ago went door-to-door for john kerry in ohio? or was he actually knocking on doors for george w. bush? jon voight, who used to be known for ‘midnight cowboy’ but is now recognized for being the father of angelina jolie, could be seen in the crowd tuesday night during fred thompson’s speech.

angelina jolie gives birth to twins

is this the most boring headline ever. but now we know that they are fraternal twins. one boy one girl. i mean, this was already prematurely announced a couple of months ago. and we already knew she’s been hiding out in nice behind windows of james bond proportion. but now we know that she had to have ac-section. according to eonline, knox leon and vivienne marcheline are the names of the addition to the white side of the jolie-pitt clan.

now that she and pitt have 3 white ones, 2 asian ones, and 1 black one, do you think they will balance the kids out by adopting a latino kid? or god forbid if they were to venture into an adoption agency in the u.s. and try to adopt some african-american or latino kids. guess helping the home team isn’t that interesting to brad pitt and angelina jolie. do they suffer from a form of anti-americanism? is that why they can’t give birth to kids on u.s. soil? or are they just determined that their kids will never have the possibility to run for president of the united states?

angelina jolie checks into nice hospital, just in case

yes, this news is old. on july 2, the bbc reported that angelina jolie, checked herself and the twins into a hospital and will stay there until she gives birth to the dynamic duo. according to the report, jolie’s doctor says there’s no problem.

okay, wouldn’t we all like to think that if we were pregnant that we could at month 8.5 decide that it’s too much for me, this wobbling around and gorging on everything that moves. and what about the hormones those special hormones that turn pregnant women into monsters from hell? what if i break water while i’m at the spa getting my nails done? i’ll just check myself into a hospital for 4 weeks, so the french paparazzi can’t get the water shot or my crying in my fish soup. who cares if the whole thing might put me back 100k?

angelina jolie shows off her tits in cannes

my memories of new orleans, where angelina jolie and brad pitt have a place, consists primarily of the mardi gras festival and people screaming on the streets show us your tits. apparently, this is wedged into jolie’s subconscious. bild zeitung, a german newspaper catches a very pregnant jolie doing a bit of sunbathing in the south of france. didn’t she and brad get married a few months back and nobody noticed?

travels with angelina jolie

did you know that angelina jolie wrote a travelogue on africa in 2003 called notes from my travels? on the cover, she is surrounded by 7 african refugees and she’s wearing a cap, so she looks more like brad pitt than angelina. no matter. if you click on ’search inside this book’ you will discover that angelina mentions the word ‘I’ at least 20 times and ‘we’ once on the first page of the book.

angelina can write, well sort of

angelina jolie has an essay in the economist’s end of the year special report–or rather, the beginning of the year special report, ‘the world in 2008.’ it’s on page 100 and boasts the headline ‘a year of accountability.’ that being the only multi-syllable word in the piece. the caption beneath her pouting picture reads: ‘angelina jolie, goodwill ambassador to the UNHCR, hopes for progress in bringing war criminals to justice.’ i would suggest adding ‘fading actress, alleged anorexic and matriarch of patchwork family.’

angelina jolie ventures into the axis of evil

article here. what exactly does a good will ambassador do? and aren’t there people working for the un who are better qualified to speak with countries that the u.s. isn’t even speaking to?

celebs earn millions from zines for photos of kids

is it ever a good idea to sell photos of your kids or so-called ‘great’ moments in your life for cash to the paparazzi and then later complain about the paparazzi? here’s a list of celebrities who have sold out to the highest bidder. according to this list, angelina jolie and brad pitt (our fave topic today) have made at least $7M hawking their lives to the press. larry birkhead made $2M selling a photo of himself and anne-nicole smith’s kid to the british rag OK.

brangelina want to quit acting move to berlin to raise their kids in the worst schools in europe

well, tom cruise is in the city filming his nazi film with director bryan singer at the helm and christina ricci and the wachowski brothers are somewhere in potsdam filmming speedracer. now it looks like brad pitt and angelina jolie are on their way to the city, but permantely. according to a uk rag, brad pitt sees his future in architecture, not acting. the newspaper also claims that angelina wants to leave acting too. and why move to berlin? well, the newspaper quotes angelina as saying ‘it’s close to france.’ well, i guess these citizens of the world know a little bit about geography. but it’s also close to poland, the czech republic, denmark, the netherlands, belgium –shall i continue?

what pitt doesn’t realise is that germany is completely controlled by guilds and unions. it’s a bit like opus dei, but without the cat-o-nine tails. if he wants to be an architect in douchland, he will have to have an architectural degree. otherwise, at the moment, since he doesn’t even have a university education, in germany, he’s barely qualified to be an interior designer.

the article also mentions that they want their children to attend school in germany. but do the jolie-pitts realize that germany has some of the worst schools in europe and berlin has some of the worst schools in the country. german students are ranked 21st in reading skills and 20th in math in a study of 31 EU countries. perhaps they’ll stick them in the private john f. kennedy school. as all the courses are taught in english. but if they go the way of the public school system, they’ll be fighting a discriminary system which is set-up in a way so that immigrant children are set-up to lose.

angelina jolie resurrects can’t let go of a mighty heart

well, it seems like this is true. the trailer for beowulf, a book i totally hated when i was forced to read it in junior high school, features a narration by a woman, whom i assume is angelina jolie, with an afro-cuban accent.