angelina jolie shows off her tits in cannes

my memories of new orleans, where angelina jolie and brad pitt have a place, consists primarily of the mardi gras festival and people screaming on the streets show us your tits. apparently, this is wedged into jolie’s subconscious. bild zeitung, a german newspaper catches a very pregnant jolie doing a bit of sunbathing in the south of france. didn’t she and brad get married a few months back and nobody noticed?

aging brad pitt won’t remove sunglasses

the big secret is out. stars don’t wear sunglasses merely to look cool, they wear them out of fear. for some people, its about the crows feet and/or bags under their eyes. for others, its because they p.r. hags and stylists have informed them that in natural light, they look simply horrible. during the press conference for the assasination of jesse james by the coward robert ford at the venice film festival, brad pittt disappointed photographers by not removing his glasses. perhaps he needs a new make-up artist.

aint it cool review of the film gives it 2 1/2 stars. the hollywood reporter wasn’t much kinder.

celebs earn millions from zines for photos of kids

is it ever a good idea to sell photos of your kids or so-called ‘great’ moments in your life for cash to the paparazzi and then later complain about the paparazzi? here’s a list of celebrities who have sold out to the highest bidder. according to this list, angelina jolie and brad pitt (our fave topic today) have made at least $7M hawking their lives to the press. larry birkhead made $2M selling a photo of himself and anne-nicole smith’s kid to the british rag OK.

brangelina want to quit acting move to berlin to raise their kids in the worst schools in europe

well, tom cruise is in the city filming his nazi film with director bryan singer at the helm and christina ricci and the wachowski brothers are somewhere in potsdam filmming speedracer. now it looks like brad pitt and angelina jolie are on their way to the city, but permantely. according to a uk rag, brad pitt sees his future in architecture, not acting. the newspaper also claims that angelina wants to leave acting too. and why move to berlin? well, the newspaper quotes angelina as saying ‘it’s close to france.’ well, i guess these citizens of the world know a little bit about geography. but it’s also close to poland, the czech republic, denmark, the netherlands, belgium –shall i continue?

what pitt doesn’t realise is that germany is completely controlled by guilds and unions. it’s a bit like opus dei, but without the cat-o-nine tails. if he wants to be an architect in douchland, he will have to have an architectural degree. otherwise, at the moment, since he doesn’t even have a university education, in germany, he’s barely qualified to be an interior designer.

the article also mentions that they want their children to attend school in germany. but do the jolie-pitts realize that germany has some of the worst schools in europe and berlin has some of the worst schools in the country. german students are ranked 21st in reading skills and 20th in math in a study of 31 EU countries. perhaps they’ll stick them in the private john f. kennedy school. as all the courses are taught in english. but if they go the way of the public school system, they’ll be fighting a discriminary system which is set-up in a way so that immigrant children are set-up to lose.

hand-me-downs for the jolie-pitt kids

are angelina jolie and brad pitt going overboard on saving the planet? according to the blog justjared, the jolie-pitt clan wear hand-me-downs. or is it just that maddox got a bit unlucky ‘cuz his parents are so busy and don’t have time to send his nanny shopping? click here and here. according to forbes, brad pitt made 35M deniro last year. so i guess he needs a bit of a raise.

angelina jolie falls off pedestal, caught by brad pitt

well, can she be caught? apparently not. at least not in america, where angelina’s Q score is nearly as bad as tom cruise’s. but at least she hasn’t bad mouthed psychotherapy and been accused of keeping her partner prisoner by Us Weekly. no. but according to the guardian america doesn’t have a love affair with angelina.

a mighty heart opened 2 weeks ago in north america on over 1300 screens and brought in a measley $3.9M. just over $800 per screen. friday’s box office total is $475K with a $352 per screen total.

asra nomani, the wall street journal journalist who, with mariane pearl, was the last person to see daniel pearl alive recently picked the film apart in an opinion piece that ran last sunday in the washington post.

gawker, the online media rag, went a step further and published what it claims to be nomani’s email to the producer (s) of the film detailing why she couldn’t be bothered to attend the premiere. you can read the gawker article here. asra believes the original intention of the book and daniel pearl have been relugated to the background as this film is really all about celebrity. she regrets having been schmoozed by brad pitt and jennifer aniston and the whole hollywood thing.

the mighty backlash that has ensued can be (possibly) attributed to, as the guardian notes “…the inevitable consequence of how Jolie and Brad Pitt have skilfully exploited the intense media interest in their lives….”

the l.a. times calls the movie A Mighty Box Office Disappointment and quotes brad gray from boxofficemojo as saying angelina jolie’s only hits have been action fare.